PUBLISHED BY BROOKE BEARMAN (OT)

Observational Learning & Your Child

Why what they see matters

As parents, we’ve all had that moment when our child copies something we’ve said—or imitates a gesture we didn’t even realise they noticed. This everyday process, called observational learning, is a powerful way children build skills, communication, and emotional understanding.

At Ninja Allied Health, our occupational therapists see first-hand how observational learning shapes a child’s development and how parents and carers can use it to encourage growth.

What Is Observational Learning?

Observational learning is when children learn by watching others. Psychologists describe four key stages:

1. Attention – noticing what’s happening

2. Retention – remembering it

3. Reproduction – trying it themselves

4. Motivation – deciding whether to keep doing it

For example: a child sees a classmate praised for sharing. They notice the behaviour, remember it, try it later, and are encouraged to repeat it after receiving praise.

Everyday Examples in Daily Life

Children learn through everyday routines. They watch how adults and peers do things—and begin to try them themselves: 

• They may notice how you stir tea, put on shoes, or line up at school. 

• They may not get it right at first, but observation gives them a starting point. 

• Verbalising steps out loud helps memory and sequencing. For example: “First we turn the kettle on, then we grab mugs, sugar, and tea, and finally milk from the fridge.” Saying each step while demonstrating helps children focus, remember, and practice completing tasks. 

• Even emotional skills like calming down after frustration can be modelled. Seeing a parent take deep breaths or ask for a break shows children what regulation can look like. 

Communication is another example. Infants often learn their first sounds by watching and listening. But communication takes many forms. For children who are non-verbal or use alternative systems (pictures, devices, sign), observational learning still plays a major role. They may watch how others use a device or gesture, and then try it themselves. 

Every child’s learning pathway is different, but the principle is the same: they learn from what they see and hear around them. 

Why It Matters in Parenting 

Much of children’s learning is incidental—they aren’t being directly taught, but they are always taking in what’s happening. That means: 

• Modelling coping skills matters. Calm strategies are copied naturally. 

• Relationships teach sharing and kindness. Pointing out everyday acts of sharing helps children learn these skills. 

• Behavioural boundaries are observed. Children often learn what is acceptable by watching others’ experiences rather than through direct consequences. 

When Diagnosis Plays a Role 

Observational learning can look different depending on a child’s profile: 

• Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD): Some children may “hyper-imitate,” copying very closely. This can be a powerful learning tool. 

• ADHD: Children may struggle to focus attention and may need repeated modelling. 

• Sensory Differences: Overwhelm can make it harder to notice and retain behaviours. 

• Anxiety or Trauma Histories: Children may absorb adult stress and emotional cues more than skills. 

How Observational Learning Shapes OT Progress 

In OT, a child’s progress is not just about practice—it’s influenced by what they observe and how they process it: 

• Attention: Children who struggle to focus may need repeated, clear modelling. Without attention, skills may take longer to appear. 

• Retention: Some children remember steps quickly; others need visual cues, verbal prompts, or repeated practice to retain what they observe. 

• Reproduction: Children differ in how easily they imitate actions. Some may “hyper-imitate,” copying extra steps, which can be used therapeutically to gradually refine skills. 

• Motivation: Children are more likely to use a new skill if they see it being rewarded or if it meets a personal need. Motivation affects how often they practice outside therapy. 

Why this matters: OT progress may appear uneven because learning depends on these observational factors. For example: a child may master handwashing quickly at therapy but struggle at home if the modelling or cues are different. Understanding observational learning helps therapists and parents set realistic expectations, adapt teaching strategies, and reinforce skills across settings. 

The Bigger Picture: Culture & Connection

Even when adults do things in unnecessarily complicated ways, children may copy them. They assume there’s a reason, showing how powerful modelling is. Children learn by observing as part of building culture, relationships, and belonging. 

Takeaway for Parents & Carers

This isn’t about being a “perfect role model.” What matters most is repair: showing children how to name feelings, apologise, or try again. 

Occupational therapists often use “I do, we do, you do.” First, model. Then practice together. Finally, the child tries independently. Verbalizing steps out loud while demonstrating tasks supports focus, memory, and participation. 

So, the next time your child copies you—folding clothes, following a sequence in the kitchen, using a calming strategy, or communicating in their own way—they are learning, moment by moment. Awareness allows you to make these moments count.